Dark Secret of Grooming Sites Exposed: Protect Kids Before It's Too Late | Alison Answers

Children are in danger of abuse and exploitation, often closer to home than we like to think. This episode is about how that really happens and what you can do to protect them, starting today.

In this episode, Alison talks about her mission. She explains what child sexual abuse and child pornography look like in the real world, how predators get access to kids, and why looking away keeps children unsafe. She shares her own experience researching these crimes, how deeply it affected her, and why she still believes there is a lot we can do.

You will learn:
✅ How predators reach children in everyday places like schools, churches, parks, buses, and online
✅ Why vulnerable, neglected and “quiet” kids are often at higher risk
✅ How secrecy, shame and silence protect abusers
✅ What questions to ask schools, churches and activity leaders about bathrooms, supervision and who is alone with kids
✅ How to build a relationship where your child feels safe telling you anything
✅ What to do if you see something that feels wrong in public, including simple actions you can take
✅ The reality that some abuse happens inside families and even starts from birth
✅ How money, success and influence can be used to protect and rescue children, not just improve our own lives
✅ Why fundraisers, better tools and working with groups that already rescue children can make a real difference

This episode is not here to shock you for drama. It is here to wake you up, give you clear steps and help you become the adult who will say, “Not on my watch,” and mean it.

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About Alison:
Alison Lager is a licensed psychotherapist and the owner of counseling centers that help people with mental health and personal growth. She hosts the podcast “Alison Answers #MissionAwake,” where she teaches people how to stop living on autopilot and live with purpose. One of her biggest life dreams is to help stop child sexual exploitation and protect children who cannot protect themselves.

If this episode speaks to you, please follow the podcast, leave a review and share it with parents, teachers and leaders you know. The more adults who understand this, the more children we can help keep safe.

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Suggested tags and keywords:
child sexual abuse, child exploitation, child pornography, child trafficking, protecting children, how predators groom children, signs of child abuse, parenting safety, child safety, online predators, church abuse, school safety, Alison Lager, Alison Answers, MissionAwake, Not On My Watch, Love146, mental health, parenting, child advocacy, child protection, stop child trafficking

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Transcript

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Little children of all different ages should not be given the responsibility to protect themselves. My biggest dream is to stop child crime. I do all these different things for mental health and to help people's lives, but these kids every day don't have anybody's help. I can teach you how to protect children from the internet, but the children who are born to mothers who allow their children to be abused, that's a real thing. When it comes to being successful, the key to that is being able to make enough money so that you can direct people, so you can help people, so you can have a voice. I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard, how many things I have investigated that children don't tell. So it's very important that you are alert. The purpose of this podcast is not to bring tragedy, fear, terrible trauma that comes from hearing about such horrific abuse that happens to children. We're not going to do that today. But what I am going to tell you is that Hey guys, how are you today? It is Allison from Allison Answers. Today is a rather serious podcast, and it is based on a program that I started a very long time ago in um it was in the 2000s. And the program was called Not on My Watch. And it was in response to a call that I have on my life to protect and help and do everything I can to stop the misuse of children through sexual exploitation. One of the things that I am positive of is that although all of us talk about how it's horrible and we can't put up with this and all of that, uh, most of us feel like there's nothing we can do about it. And I understand that because I had the unfortunate yet fortunate experience of investigating and looking into what is actually happening. It was, I can really be honest, it was vicariously traumatizing to me during that period of time. It made it so that it was difficult for me to sleep at night. It made it so that it was so hard to do the work that I wanted to do. I continued to do it, but I even as I say this now, I feel sick to my stomach. The purpose of this podcast is not to bring um tragedy, fear, um, and that terrible trauma that comes from hearing about such horrific abuse that happens to children. That is not what my purpose is. We're not going to do that today. But what I am going to tell you is that as I looked into what is actually happening and the way that this is happening, I knew and I'm certain that I have to do something about it. I am eliciting anyone who also would be willing to do something about it to join me in not, you know, we hear all these different things about join me in the fight, you know, let's wait, raise awareness. And yeah, I agree with those things, but we have to do actionable steps. We also have to no longer ever tolerate this childhood ritualistic, unbelievable sexual exploitation and abuse and rape of children and babies. And this is real and it's happening now. I cannot rest in my heart, knowing that even at this moment, that's actually happening. So, what can I do? What can we do? One of the things I know, and uh that is definitely something we can do, is we can teach, I can teach people how to be on the lookout, not just aware, action using actionable steps to ensure the safety of children, not just our own children. People who are listening to this and who are outraged by this very often are parents who are really looking out for their kids. The children who are usually in danger are the children who are not dressed properly for the weather, the children whose hair is messy, the children who don't have parents, the children who are not properly cared for, the children who are hurting and sad and look that way, the children who don't are neglected, those are the children that are at most risk. And I can explain to you very, very in a very simple manner the way that it works. The way that a pedophile can have access to children, there are several ways they can do it. They are going to be people who are attracted to children or drawn to children, so you will find them in places where children are. So it's very important that you are alert, not scared, alert. Notice if somebody is there watching children. Notice what's happening around you. So the thing that that works for them is only secrecy. Because if they can keep people from knowing that this is happening, they do that. That is how they groom, that's how they do the whole process. And there is there are so many things that I'm going to begin to talk about and teach people, as many people who will listen. It's not just stranger danger. It's not just don't get in the car. It's not just all the things we teach children to say no. I want you to think about for one moment of a little baby or a little toddler. Can you manipulate them? As an adult, do you know how to intrigue them? Do you know how to move them from one place to another, you know, to appeal to their senses? That is my point. Little children of all different ages should not be given the responsibility to protect themselves. They need adults around them that aren't their parents, that are also other people at the playground, um, in the store, all around that notice what's going on. And you're better off doing something about it, noticing it. And I've done things like take pictures of license plates when I see a man with a baby. You know, there are things in certain ways that the baby's crying and screaming, and I ask the man, is that your child? I'm like, Are you okay? And you know what? That's a bold move. But if we don't do that, who will? So I would appeal also to parents that if somebody comes up to you and let's say one of your kids is going crazy or whatever, and you know, and someone says something to you, be gracious and understand that they're looking out for a small child to ensure that they're safe. So if we can begin to develop in our society a group of people, a large amount of people who are saying, I will not tolerate this, but also do not look the other way. If something doesn't look right, if a child is with someone that just and they seem off, do something about it. Ask a question, tell a store manager, do something to ensure that this child is safe. Take a license plate, get a picture of the kid. So who knows if they've been stolen and taken somewhere. So there's so many variables involved here when it comes to protecting children. The number one thing is that it is our responsibility as adults to notice kids who are neglected, notice kids who maybe don't have a lot of parenting going on around them, and make an extra effort to look out for them. That's one of the things I've done in different neighborhoods I've lived in. I could kind of see who would be a target of something. You can see it if you want to see it. Another thing is, is we really need to understand that this is an underground epidemic that no one knows what to do about it. The FBI, the things that they have to look at and watch, the pornography that they see, they are so traumatized. And they can only, when I did the research on it at that time, they could only dive into about 2% of it and they would have to try to look through the background to try to figure out where the child is so they could go rescue it. Well, the reason that I'm even on here is not because I have an exact answer. I can teach people how to protect children around them. I can teach you how to protect your own children, I can teach you how to protect children from the internet. But the children who are born to mothers who allow their children to be abused, that's a real thing. That is not a fake thing. That is, there are babies that are born that nobody even knows was born, knows that they were born because they're used for that purpose. So, do I have the answer how to stop that? No. And I think about Thomas Edison. I think about any of the unbelievable inventions that we have. The fact that I could speak to you through this camera and it reaches you, it could reach you in another country. There are things that we can do, we just have to put our great minds together and absolutely make the decision that this is intolerable to us. Not on my watch, not while I'm living, can another child go through this? So there's a few tips that I'm gonna talk about. This right here, I just want you to understand that there are websites out there that teach fathers and stepfathers how to groom and abuse their baby children. I'm just telling you the truth. It's real. That's actually happening. There are groups that actually meet and talk about how they're doing this and they get tips from one another. I'm at a playground, I'm watching her, you know, and I'm clapping for her as she's she's as she's doing cartwheels and her skirt's going up. What should I do next? This is real and it's happening. And because possibly the people who are listening are not people who would even consider anything like this as an option, it's very hard for us to wrap our minds around the fact that people are actually doing this. I've been in this field for so many years, my entire adult life, you would be very surprised at who people that you would never suspect would be drawn to, attracted to, and would sexualize a child. So what I'm asking of you is not to have an immediate answer. I'm asking you to consider how you have turned your head because it's so hard to stomach. I've done that. I've done it because I feel so sick when I think about it. It's hard to continue to push through and decide to do things because I can tell you I have looked. I have done things that maybe people might think are unacceptable, but I will directly ask a child if they're okay. What's going on? How you doing? Yeah, is that your dad? You know, just yeah, hi dad. Yeah, everything okay? Is there anything I can do to help? Now, and you can assess what's happening. Please understand that that is not the solution. I know that. I have inventions in my mind that I think about at night about how to protect the children. I think we need things that have to do with AI. I think we need things that are electronic. I think we need things that are something that we've never thought of before, something that has never been invented before, ways to protect children. And I don't know that answer. But one thing I do know is that there are people like Love 146, they are out there rescuing children who are being exploited and prostituted for money and their babies and their young little children. So we know that's true. So one of the things we can do, and what I plan to do, after I just did that incredible ride, 39 miles to fight cancer with the Miami Dolphins, it was so wonderful and bittersweet because suddenly it just hit me so hard. I was like, oh my God, this could be happening for these children. We could be raising, they made it raise $100 million. We could be doing something like that. There's fundraisers everywhere. People do walk-a-thons for everything. But how come we don't see anything for kids? And I was like incensed. I'm just being straight talk with you right now, just as real as I can be. I was like insulted and the nerve of me to be insulted, and I'll tell you why. I'm like, how come nobody does this for, you know, uh baby and child pornography? And then I'm like, Allison, are you kidding me? How come you don't do it? Like, we're so quick to say, how come someone doesn't stop this? How come this doesn't stop because you want to know where it is? It's us. Nobody's gonna rescue these children but us. No one. So to me, when you know it comes to making money, when it comes to being successful, to me, the key to that is being able to make enough money so that you can rescue people, so you can help people, so you can have a voice, so you can do things that are gonna be hard to do if you don't have the cash to do it. So basically, what I'm looking to do is, and I pray every day for it, that I would receive enough money that I could establish some unbelievable invention. But the time is now, whether you have the money or not, no matter what it is, we have to be the people on the lookout. So there's very, very, very important things to know. If there, first of all, someone cannot abuse a child if there is not secrecy. Their number one tactic, the number one way to abuse a child is in the dark. So one of the things that we can do is we can remove the darkness, remove the secrecy. So we begin with our young children, and it begins from birth. Our children and helping any child that you know establish a type of a relationship with them that they can tell you anything. Now I'm speaking to parents. I want you to know that the surest way to protect your child is to be a person they can talk to and not be shocked by the things that they say, the things that they do, the things that they explore in their mind. Because if you can establish a sense of like safety to come to you, a comfort that can minimize their risk of being abused or at least being abused a second time. I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard, how many things I have investigated that children don't tell. And I'm gonna tell you why they don't tell. Because when children have told, they're not believed. When children have told, the parents freak out and they're like angry at the child. The parents are more upset than taking care of their own kid. So one of the things we have to do is become the the rock for children. So I have established that in a lot of different places that I have lived. When there is a kid in my neighborhood that I live in, I make sure I'm an adult in their life that's safe. And I'm not talking about inviting them into my house, which could be weird. It's just, hey, how are you doing today? What's going on? And I have done that over the years and created incredibly special, kind, good relationships with kids just in case they ever needed to tell me something. And believe me, they would tell me things. And it is a way to begin a ripple effect of protection. With our children, we never want to establish anything with them that they should feel ashamed to come to us. Very, very important. The next thing is that you want to make sure that as a parent, that the if you can ensure that you're the pain in the neck parent, you're the one, I would be the parent that went on the bus. And I'd go, is there anyone else on the bus watching the children? When do my when does my child get dropped off? Are you the only person on the bus when they're dropped off? And then I would also be the parent that wouldn't even let them go on the bus. Uh, if I was going to bring my child somewhere to an event or something, or something where that I wouldn't be there, I would say, Well, when they need to go to the bathroom, who takes them? And they'll say, Oh, one of us. I say, do they go with a group or do they go with one person? So now these are the questions that are important to ask. This is to protect our children and the children that we know from sexual abuse or being fondled or anything inappropriate in these different places, you know, public schools, which it happens, trust me, it happens. Churches, it definitely happens in churches. I am telling you that. You just do not blanketly trust people just because they're in church. Okay. Churches, synagogues, every place your children go. So this is one level of protection. And the deeper level of protection that we need to somehow be involved in is the children who never are out there and maybe they're not even going to school. Listen, I homeschooled my kids and I believe in homeschool um really a lot. I think it's valuable. However, there are kids that are born for the only reason is for them to be utilized for horrific things for prostitution, and that is their life. They're they're born for that. It is a very, very real thing that's happening, and we have to stop turning our eyes away from that. I am not here to bring some sensational thing out there like every news station across the world. It's incredible what we are bombarded with. So, what I would like to utilize this as is not something like, oh my God, this is terrible. What are we gonna do? I feel that. But instead to take that and utilize it and transform it, reframe this into actionable steps. Okay, I don't know what to do, but how can I do something? And there are a lot of ways that you can just by looking around. What I can ask you to do is look out for, I am no matter what, I'm going to uh prepare and start a fundraiser. And it might be involved bicycles, it might involve walking, it might involve um just getting a lot of people involved. Even if it's 20 people, let's start. Because what else are we going to do? From I recognized at this the Miami Dolphins fundraiser, is that they started out with 400 people and now they had 7,000. And they have raised all this money. So if we can take different, you know, large programs and ask for their help and ask them, and then also connect them to people who are actually in the streets and rescuing children in the darkest corners of our world, then let's do that. And let's do as much as we can and be the people who say no, not on my watch. So, although this is a lot of scattered information today, I can provide for you a lot of everything's for free. I want nothing for it. So, what I want to explain is that if I can go to a school for you, or if I can go to a mom's group for you, or if I can Talk to any group of people who need help protecting children, I'm happy to do it. At least I can do, I can put action into what I'm saying about not on my watch. So going forward, I ask that you would please, wherever you are, keep your eyes open and aware. Don't be looking at your phone. If you hear a kid crying, or if you hear it's look at a kid and they look like this, like that, like they're numbed out. Usually there's a reason. They could be tired. That's true. But don't discount. Also notice what you feel in your body. If something feels off, notice it. You may not be able to do anything in that exact moment for that person in the moment, but you could get their license plate. You could notice if there's some child missing. You could take the time to say, you know what? If we all said this one common thing, you know, we're here for love and light, we're here to give, we're here to succeed, we're here to do the things we're doing on this earth. However, not on my watch. We have voted with our feet and with our action, and with me included, we have voted that children and babies, the innocents that don't have a voice, don't really. We just look the other way. How come? I know that when something is so gross and so evil and so hard to stomach and believe that it's possibly true, it's very, it's a lot easier to look the other way. It is. I cannot even tell you how traumatized I was when I was researching this and speaking in churches and going to, you know, um talk to different groups of people and to educate parents. You know, this was my my passion. And I remember when I signed up for RT or I applied to RT and they were gracious enough to take me. I remember part of my application was they were like, What is your dream? Like, what is your vision? And I didn't want to say it because it's kind of like a secret. And I said, My biggest secret, my biggest dream is to stop child pornography. And it has been just naw, it gnaws at me. I do all these different things for mental health and to you know help people's lives. But these kids every day don't have anybody standing up for them. So do I have the answer? There's probably many answers because usually with a serious problem, there's a lot of different solutions. But we can move the needle every day if we make the choice to. Really make the choice. And somehow with something this heinous and this evil, it's so much better if you can have others who are standing beside you because it doesn't feel as really honestly scary and overwhelming because it's so big. But the truth is that love, light, integrity people who will not allow this on their watch that is stronger than any evil. So and a lot of that evil has a lot a lot of money backed up, backing it up. So let me tell you straight there's a lot of unbelievably great, loving, kind, generous people with a lot of money who would want to help this. And I'm gonna do everything I can to see if they'll help us. And uh that's all. This is um just being myself, my real self on this podcast, just sharing with my incredible listeners who continue to just be here. I appreciate you so much. I want to thank you so much. I would really super appreciate if you would follow me, like, subscribe on YouTube. I um I know that um I am listened globally, but my actual YouTube channel doesn't reflect that, or even my social media. Um, and my social media is not about being liked, it's not about attention, it's about helping as many people as I can uh before I hit my own grave and multiplying that. So if you know anyone or any of my videos really hit you, or they they make some uh impact on your life, or you know someone that they will, please, all I ask is that you do you share that. Share, I only want to go viral with people who actually will be transformed and and it'll make a difference in their life. This is not for me. I do not monetize any of this. I don't monetize my book, don't monetize my podcast, but I do own counseling centers. So uh that is monetized. So I just ask you to really do me that favor and help me to have more of a following so I can make more of an impact, so I can touch more parents, so I can, oh, you know, maybe some kid is gonna hear me somewhere, you know. That is what will matter to me. That is my inheritance, is the rescuing of these children. And that's all I want. So I wish you very, very well today. And um I wish you happiness. And just because this is happening doesn't mean we don't allow ourselves to feel joy and experience the beauty of this life because then we're contributing to that part of it. So we want to continue to grow, to succeed, and to be the best us that we can be, so that we can then help people who are suffering. And I'm talking about kids, honestly. And there are women who are giving birth to babies just to sell them. Sorry to say it. It's true. So I love you. Have the great have a great rest of your day, guys. Keep your eyes open, not on our watch.