Somatic Secrets to Free Your Body from Trauma | Chelsea Horton on Alison Answers Podcast

Chelsea Horton, somatic powerhouse and Healing Embodied founder, transformed burnout and family chaos into body-led freedom—shaking out shame, pole-dancing past judgment, and sniffing trauma lies with 10-minute emotion shifts that bypass talk-therapy traps. Alison (her eating disorder shake-free moment as proof) dives in for raw somatic demos, child protection truths, and play-powered hacks: fingertip neutrality to "cringe" outfit confidence. No BS—just energy-in-motion magic proving your body's the real healer.

Watch if:
👉 Trauma, anxiety, or eating disorders trap you in head-stories, not body wisdom
👉 Sexual abuse shame whispers "your body betrayed you"—time to uncouple it
👉 Parents/kids: You're forcing "no's" or outfits, killing their self-trust early
👉 People-pleasing suffocates your silly—crave pole-dance-level freedom now

You’ll gain:
✅ Somatic starter: "If this emotion borrowed your body, how would it move?" (Instant unstuck)
✅ Neutrality bridge: Rub fingertips first—rewire "enemy body" to living ally
✅ Kid-proofing: Normalize choice ("Your fault? Never") without forcing disclosure
✅ Inner bestie hack: Feel judgment discomfort—hold yourself, no contort needed

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)
Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

When we're dissociated, when we're disconnected from our body, we have this story that feeling is not safe and it's like we're frozen. So we have to go through this process of thawing out.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

My guest today is Chelsea Horton. She is a schematic coach, educator, and the founder of Healing Embodied, where she trains wellness professionals and leaders to integrate thematics, creativity, and emotional healing into their work and lives.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Learning to tap into our emotions, not just through our thoughts, not just through words, but through how they live and move and express in our body. That voice in your head is not you. Even if it's been there for decades and you think it's you, I'm telling you right now, that voice in your head does not belong to you, and it never did. Life is about evolution. Life itself is about. I I talk with a lot of kids who, you know, they've been in situations where they didn't have that choice and someone took over that choice.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

You know, you allow them to come with the truth. Yeah. Then when it really matters, you're not gonna hear it. You can't protect them.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yeah. I have chills. That's it's huge. And I also feel like most children.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Well, hello there, everyone. This is Alison from Allison Answers and Lager Counseling Services. My guest today is Chelsea Horton. She is a somatic coach, educator, and the founder of Healing Embodied, where she trains wellness professionals and leaders to integrate somatics, creativity, and emotional healing into their work and lives. She holds a master's degree in dance and movement, I'm sorry, dance and movement therapy, and brings together body-based practices, nervous system healing, and trauma-informed work to help people move through traditional talk therapy and truly feel and process emotions in their bodies. I love this. After experiencing burnout as a dance therapist in the community mental health system, Chelsea set out to build a business that prioritized humanity over hustle. She created a thriving embodiment coaching program alongside her COO, Sarah, designed to teach practitioners how to lead with presence, intuition, and creativity rather than rigid formulas. Her approach empowers professionals to remain fully themselves while providing exceptional care to their clients. Chelsea is a published author and has presented at the UCLA Expressive Therapies Conference. Her work focuses on anxiety, shame, religious trauma, inner child healing, and embodiment. Known for her humor, authenticity, and depth, she brings a grounded and relatable perspective to conversations about mental health and personal growth. Outside of her professional life, Chelsea is a former worship leader, turned pole dancer. Yes! Awesome! I love that. Anyhow, an improv enthusiast and a lifelong dinosaur lover. She believes deeply in the power of play, creativity, and self-expression as essential tools for healing and living fully. Are we not gonna have fun today, people? We know we're gonna have fun, right? Because this woman has what all of us need: a little levity, a little fun, and everything that could just really, really bring us to just a higher level. So here she is. I'm looking forward to getting to know her. Hey, hey, hey guys, how are you today? It is Allison from Allison Answers, as you know, because I just told you, and Lager Counseling Services. As I mentioned, Chelsea is here to share with us her creativity and her beautiful spirit in assisting us in finding other ways to feel better, to um overcome what is called all the mental illnesses that we don't even like to label here at Lager Counseling Services, but to allow people to find freedom. And I just love so much what we're gonna talk about. So I just pre-frame it for you. Um, be willing to just go into your childlike state to hear what Chelsea has to say because there's a lot of freedom in that state, even if there was trauma there during that time. So I just want to welcome you. Thank you for being here, Chelsea. Um, what brings you to um mental health to begin with? And then we'll just go from there.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. I love your energy so much. I know this is gonna be an incredible conversation, and I can't wait for people to be part of this conversation. How far back in my story do we go? What got it?

SPEAKER_02 4:58

I was born in no, I probably not, yeah. Um, we love our story, but maybe others.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

But anyhow, so so essentially I grew up in a you know, not so functional household. Um, you know, my parents got divorced when I was in middle school. I just saw the dysfunction in my family, and I, you know, eventually became the golden child, you know, the one who gets all the good grades and is like, okay, if I can just be perfect, then like this is my formula for like how to have a good life and avoid all the pain that my parents went through. And I also really wanted to learn more about like how do you be healthy? How do like how do you create a functional life? Is that possible? Is having healthy relationships possible? And I I got really interested in psychology in undergrad, and I ended up majoring in counseling. And throughout that journey, I started doing a lot of my own exploration and started seeing my own therapist and realizing the impact that my family life had on me. And I was also at the time a dancer and a musical theater student and love creativity, love expression, a very playful person, even with everything I went through, always just a silly, goofy, playful, expressive person. And I'm like, I don't see myself just sitting and talking to people. I'm like, is there a way to combine dance and therapy? And I remember like Googling, this was before ChatGPT. So I remember Googling, being like, is is there, is this a thing? And I remember discovering dance and movement therapy and being like, this is me as a career. And so I got my master's in board certification and dance movement therapy, which is a blend of somatic therapy and creative arts therapy, where we're really learning to tap into our emotions, not just through our thoughts, not just through words, but through how they live and move and express in our body. And so I've been a board certified dance movement therapist and I've been in the field of somatics for a decade now.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

I have to say, there's never a coincidence when someone comes on this podcast. Sometimes I don't know what like what the reason is, but it's always like I feel like a divine appointment. So I had a very similar childhood. When I was in psychology, when I was taking psychology classes, when they would you they wanted you to have like um a uh like write a paper about a person, I always wrote it about me. So I was like, how do I find a way to help myself? Yes. So I was like my my horrible therapist. And I just love hearing it's just sounds so similar. So, anyhow, um, in regard to what you're saying, um I would love to know how, like when you're working with people, I'm in my mind, I'm thinking you're working with groups, but I'm sure you're also working with individuals too. And do you do that? Like, do you how um could you just describe the process for us? Like what the difference is? Because did you do the regular straight therapy for a period of time, the verbal talk therapy?

SPEAKER_01 8:12

So my undergrad degree in counseling was all verbal. And the beautiful thing about the dance movement therapy degree is that you're learning all the like clinical skills, CBT, like you're learning that alongside of the creative arts therapies piece. So I never like went into the field as a clinical therapist as a talk therapist. Like from the get-go, I was a dance in movement therapist. I was a little unicorn out there working at a psych hospital as the only dance in movement therapist. And people are like, who is this chick and what is she doing?

SPEAKER_02 8:43

So you'd be an inpatient with in a like severely persistently mentally ill people, right? And oh, I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was incredible work. So to answer that question, like, what is that process? What does it look like? Yes, I've worked with groups and individuals, and it really is so unique to each person, which is what I love about this work. There's never a dull moment. It's so fresh, it's so alive, it's it's so unique to each person. But essentially, you know, someone comes in with the challenge, the thing that they're wrestling with. Maybe it's a thought loop, maybe it's, you know, negative thinking, maybe it's an emotion, maybe it's grief, maybe it's heartache, maybe it's anxiety. So they're like, ah, this is what I'm dealing with, and I just like can't seem to get unstuck from it, or I've been trying this and I just can't think my way out of it. And so what we're doing is we're helping them first begin to identify how does that emotion actually live and feel in your body? Where, where do you feel it? How do you feel it? How big is it? And then sometimes we bring in something like imagery. Does it have a color, an image, a shape? Is it an animal? Is it a character? And then we help them access their body's authentic wisdom and way of wanting to move with that emotion. So if that emotion could borrow, this is a question I ask my clients a lot. If that emotion could borrow your body, how would that emotion move? So suddenly, instead of being stuck in their head with their emotion, they're accessing this whole new way of relating to that emotion. And emotions are energy in motion. So they're finally moving with the emotion. The energy starts to shift. Suddenly, they're like, I've been stuck in an anxiety loop for a week, and we just did something for 10 minutes, and I feel completely different.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Yes. I want you to come and work with us. Oh my God. I have so much to say. Because I'm like, we like I love this. Yeah. Yeah. I'm obsessed. So I'm gonna, so I'm I want to hear more from you. I'm I don't want to talk a lot, but I do want to just tell a a little thing related to this. Maybe you can speak on it. So in my early 20s, I was hospitalized for an eating disorder. You know, this is public knowledge. Um, I just like people to know that there's evidence that you can heal. So, in regard to that, one of the things that happened when I was alone in my trying to work on myself face, I'm in my apartment. I had just, you know, did all the stuff the binge, purge, the ugh, right? I feel horrible. And just something came over me where I was like, I can shake this out of my body. And I just I did this thing where I was just shaking my whole body. I'm gonna tell you something. Something happened to me. I was set free in a way. There were other things that needed to be freed as well, but it changed me. And I just intuitively knew. And our bodies have that wisdom, like you say, healing wisdom. Yes, look at you. Okay, girl. Let's go. Okay, so tell us more. Tell us so when you describe, so then when you have them, they identify where it is, how the color, all of it. What what what do you do? I'm curious about this, with someone who maybe is shy in their body, you know, or because I I could see that, you know, right? What do you do?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Yeah, there's so many different ways to be in your body. And I tell my clients, there's no right or wrong way to be in your body. For for someone, it might look like a big expression, it might look like shaking. For some pers, some people, it might just look like I put my hand on my chest and I breathe a little deeper, and maybe I just go more inward.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

But it's ultimately the goal is to be in a living, breathing relationship with your body and to not leave your body out of your healing. And so it doesn't matter exactly what it looks like. It matters that you're actually starting to connect. And for some people, especially trauma survivors, where their body was the source of pain, where their body was the source of trauma, there's a lot of steps that have to be put in place in order to be able to connect to their body. So for someone who they're like, connecting to my body is so uncomfortable, it's so vulnerable. Every time we get into their body, they go up into their head. We start with more neutral sensation. Can I just learn to feel safe feeling? Like my five senses. Can I grab an object like a soft blanket, a cold stone? Can I just learn to feel in a neutral way and learn that feeling is safe because when we're dissociated, when we're disconnected from our body, we have this story that feeling is not safe and it's like we're frozen. And so we have to go through this process of thawing out, and sometimes just like like smelling something, yes, like taking in the vision of the tree outside of your window. Sometimes it's this really slow process of coming back home to just feeling in general.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Beautiful. So I'm imagining, um I'm not sure, but I'm thinking that probably a lot of people who clearly have had trauma, but also people who very often uh people have been sexually abused. It's they also have like eating disorders, all different kinds of things, but that's like one thing, like this this um uh self-loathing, hatred of their body, like body dysmorphia. So I'm wondering uh about that. Like, do you ever have people with eating disorders? When you said that about disconnect from you know the from here up, that's often people who have like compulsive overeating will do that or even anorexia, but just can't be with themselves, right? So it's shame. So, you know, I would love to hear anything you have to say about that.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Yeah, well exactly like you said, we we can learn through experience that our body is our enemy and we we take on this self-punishment thing. If I could just control my body, if I could just have this sense of control, or if I could punish my body, my body's the reason why I was abused, right? Especially especially with sexual abuse. Um I did my my internship and thesis work with um survivors of sexual trauma. But if my body was the site of this horrific thing, then we often internalize that abuse toward ourselves. If our body was abused by someone outside of us, sometimes we can internalize that abuse. Yeah. And we go, my body is deserving of abuse. We might not think this consciously, but it can manifest as something like an eating disorder or even, you know, skin picking, not taking care of ourselves, numbing ourselves, substance abuse. We internalize this self-loathing and this shame that the reason why this happened to me is because there's something fundamentally wrong, bad, or broken about me. And that's what shame is is a way in which we relate to ourselves that says, I'm less worthy fundamentally. And so when we believe this about ourselves because of our experiences, we then relate to our bodies in that way, through, like you said, through eating disorders, through other controlling compulsive behaviors, thinking that if I could just punish my body enough, then maybe just maybe maybe that maybe if I'm thin enough, maybe if I'm this enough, maybe if I'm fit enough, I'll be worthy of love.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

So with somatic work, it's learning, first of all, how to acknowledge that pain, that shame, yeah, to really see the way in which you're relating to your body. Like I was saying before, it's all about building a relationship with your body. And if the relationship with your body is one of shame and hatred and punishment, then we really want to gently, lovingly begin to look at that and shine a light on that and slowly begin to rebuild a relationship. We don't jump right into self-love.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

Thank you for saying that. Because many people come in, they're like, Well, this other therapist told me I just have to love myself, but I hate myself. Yeah. You gotta tell the truth. Yeah. Yes, okay, I'm listening.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yeah, to go from self-hatred to self-love, it it's like the chasm feels immeasurable. Yes, and so it's going from my body is my enemy to my body is a person. My body is a living, breathing being. My body, I have no choice but to be in this body. How can I relate to my body first in a more neutral way? Okay, my body breathes, my body feels, my body moves, and beginning to relate to the body as neutral and learning to intentionally build this new relationship with their body. And some something we've done with people before who are so disconnected from their bodies or have a lot of self-hatred is sometimes we just start with the part of their body that they feel more neutral in. Like, you know, going into the torso is often very um vulnerable, so where we hold a hold a lot of emotions, excuse me, and where a lot of our body shame is. So we might start with just like the hands, the fingertips, and just like, can I just touch my fingertips together and say something like, these are my fingertips? Okay, what happens when I rub my fingertips together? Okay, I feel a tingling, I feel warmth. These are my hands, these are my fingertips. So it's something so simple, but it's beginning to like rewire something that says, like, okay, this is like this is the the the mammal of my body.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

And if if I treat my body like a person, how does that begin to shift that relationship?

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. Um, you know, we see a lot when somebody's been sexually abused, um, very often they don't even say this, but hope you know, hopefully they will, is that um let's say they're a child and their body responds to the abuse with, you know, like pleasure, just physiological pleasure. Yeah. And then so so hatred and pleasure get coupled together.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

So I'm imagining that you also deal with that, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah, definitely when I was working with survivors of sexual abuse and first of all, normalizing that, that like you don't always choose your body's physiological responses. Like that's a body doing what a body does, and that doesn't mean like stripping away the meaning. That's a big thing that happens. People feel so much shame for what their body did or didn't do in those moments, and that like I somehow chose that, or this is further confirmation that there was something wrong with me. So, like, really beginning to like I something that we really own in our work is that we're like shame sniffers. Like we sniff out shame. We can see, we're just like, okay, wow, here's where shame is at play. This belief that, oh my God, why didn't I run? Why didn't I fight? Why did my body respond with pleasure? What's wrong with me? Here's here's why I deserved this in some way, why must have liked it, all the things that our mind does to make meaning of an experience that is horrific.

SPEAKER_04 20:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Our our mind is trying to make meaning out of something that is senseless.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

And so when we can begin to uncouple the story of the mind from the experience of the body, we we create an opportunity to create new meaning.

unknown 20:28

That's beautiful, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Because people get so fused with the story, and the story perpetuates this pain and this shame and this I can't go into my body because then and that's gonna, I'm gonna have to touch those things inside of myself, and it's just gonna further confirm that I'm this horrible, bad, wrong person. So when we can help someone just be with sensation in a neutral way, Dr. Russell Kennedy, he's an anxiety expert, he says, sensation without explanation. If I can just be with the sensation, be with my body without the story, what then becomes available?

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Yeah, that's really cool. The um, you know, as you know, like when anyone is abused in any way, the first stop very often is self-blame, right? Yeah, which doesn't make sense, of course, but it it's it's what what people experience. And I find it um, you know, and I think that predators or somebody who abuses a child, they will utilize that experience of pleasure, maximize it, and it it further um, you know, fosters non-disclosure. Like the kids really talk. And you know, the the reason I even just speak to this today is because this is something that I just am very dedicated to. The ending of child pornography, ending, you know. I mean, this is like what I I want to have that meaning in my life that somehow I contributed to that. So any

SPEAKER_01 22:00

thing and you you are so wise you know your use of language is incredible I love the way you speak and I just would love to hear just your thoughts on that even if you were um I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm pushing the the envelope a little bit with me already but if you were to speak to a child like about that who um even didn't want to disclose because who knows if somebody hears this right so I'm just like throwing it out there like you know we never know maybe you saying something some young person will hear it somewhere so I you know no yeah I worked with child survivors of sexual abuse primarily and the the first thing is I I am never going to force a child to disclose but I might say things like hey like let's let's learn about our body's boundaries and let's learn about like you know being able to say no and being able to like kind of taking taking advocacy back for their own bodies because I think children a lot of times are bred in environments where it's like no you give them a hug give them a kiss don't be mean don't be rude like hey you know where children are kind of bred to not have autonomy over their own bodies. Yes so something that I might help a child with is to reclaim autonomy over their body to give them choice and to like empower them in those choices even if it's in small ways like which which toy do you want to choose? Which flavor of this do you want to choose? Okay where how much space do you want from me right now? Okay like here I am your therapist you don't know me like where do you want to be in the room? Like where do you want me in the room? So giving them choice and then being able to normalize like you get to have autonomy over your body and then being able to something I've said with one of my child survivors before is you know sometimes I I talk with a lot of kids who you know they've been in situations where they didn't have that choice and someone took over that choice and someone hurt them or touched them in a way that they actually didn't want and that didn't feel good for them. And they felt like they couldn't tell anyone. So I might just kind of talk about other children even though yes I know and sense that this child has gone through that same thing. Just to kind of also normalize and give permission and give safety and give space like hey I know that this happens to kids and I don't think it's okay and I don't think it's their fault at all. There's no situation in which it is the child's fault no situation in which it could ever possibly be the child's fault for being touched or hurt in that way.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Yeah. You know I uh piggyback because I love you were discussing about parenting which you know when I'm thinking about helping people in general I'm thinking about it could start as early as parents giving this autonomy and giving them that sense of respect in their body but as simple as you know the things you were describing I mean obviously children are mostly taught um I wasn't thank god but I still was sexually abused by the way but um the being taught that children don't say no to adults and that you know and schools you know you have to and so many things. So just even you know forcing a kid to eat a certain way forcing a kid to dress a certain way like all of these things that take away their identity or their ability to communicate what they like or don't like wearing uncomfortable clothes just because you want to look good in a photo like these little subtle things I think incrementally build out a program that sets them up. Right. So I just wanted this on our conversation because anyone any parent who can hear it you know I tell parents also you always have to be the person that they can come and tell anything to so if they do something steal something break something you don't flip out. Yeah but you know you allow them to come with the truth yeah because if they're repeatedly taught or punished for sharing the truth yes right yeah then when it really matters you're not going to hear it and you can't protect them.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

Yeah who I have chills that's it's huge. Right? And I also feel like most children through school systems, through through parenting through so many situations, they're not given the opportunity to make decisions and be celebrated for making decisions. Yeah. It's like this is the decision that I want you to make this is the decision that you have to make like you don't have a decision or if you make a decision and I don't like that decision, you're gonna get punished. You're gonna hear about it like you we're not really brought up in an environment often where just making choices and making decisions is celebrated or fostered. And so like you said all these little things compounding together suddenly I feel like I don't have autonomy over my body. Suddenly I I've been taught oh outsourced to authority which is adults so if an adult says that this is okay if an adult says that don't tell anyone even if I feel weird in my body about it I'm going to silence my own body's cues because I've learned that what actually my body says is not important.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

Yes. You know uh there's a book um called protecting the gift maybe you've heard of it but it's some you know I'm not even necessarily recommending it but there's this one point in it um it's written by a gentleman who protects very like people at very high level and what he's describing he says how come a a woman will walk into an elevator that they feel uncomfortable walking into that a man is there but a dog won't and it's and it's like how come when you're walking down the street one guy even if the guy looks like a guy who would be bad but you don't feel it and then another guy who looks like a guy who's like totally like together you feel it. But we're taught and most women you know which I'm sure you know victims of violent crimes is because we don't want to look silly. Yeah we don't want to make a scene we don't want to embarrass the person and you know this is we're trained in this like our whole lives so you know just like being a and I saw let me tell you I'm gonna I'm gonna shout out about you I saw like maybe this is like another social that is not related to your business probably isn't but you do all this like free stuff like all the different clothing and like you know just yeah and just like dancing and go crazy. And there's something so beautiful about returning to the art child. Right? So I'm I see you do it because I saw like I'm like yes she does it like she plays yeah and um you know I I want to be better at that I play more than probably like the most people but I'm still like make sure I look pretty good when I'm doing yeah yeah just a little good yeah so tell us about that tell us where the freedom lies or anything you want to comment on on what I get said because I said a lot of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

That's so good. Yeah when we're programmed to be more concerned with what other people are perceiving about us that ability to be freely expressed gets shut off.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

And like you said women especially are programmed don't rock the boat don't make anyone else uncomfortable be a nice girl be a good girl don't be a B word like don't be too much don't be too loud don't be too modest but don't be too immodest. Like all these mixed messages of how we're taught to show up in the world in order to be accepted and in order to be safe over time that suffocates our creativity because creativity thrives when we feel safe when we feel safe to make a mistake when we feel safe to be messy when we feel safe to look stupid when we feel safe to be a little embarrassed. And so I I really credit that ability to be silly and playful to this work.

unknown 30:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Because I've cultivated enough safety and trust inside of myself and the ability to feel okay being embarrassed looking stupid looking cringe people thinking that I'm silly and I've been able to return home to like what is my genuine authentic expression? Like how do I want to show up in my body for my body for me and for me alone. And for me it looks like sometimes like funky kooky outfits for me it looks like pole dancing for me it looks like being really silly and playful like I'm the first one on a dance floor anywhere always amazing dancer okay I mean come on I if I could learn to if I could dance like that I would be so happy at any at any age it's never too late it's never too late dance like that holy sh I like can you teach me how I do teach a dance class like yeah that you're an amazing dancer.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

I saw you dance on your thing yeah okay so so like how did you um how did you become more comfortable with just allowing yourself to do all that is it is it moving through the discomfort you I think you used words like I'm not sure what you said exactly trust your what did you say trusty enough to what did you right cultivating enough safety inside of myself and trust inside of myself that I can trust that I can handle if someone judges me or if someone someone doesn't like what I wear.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

My husband I love my husband he he my husband's obsessed with me so I'll just I'll just make this out first I might blame him. Yeah I'll I'll put on an outfit he'll be like what the heck are you wearing but I'm just like I like it and I like me and I trust like I'm okay if my husband doesn't like my outfit. I'm okay if someone's like well I wouldn't wear that I'm okay if someone is staring at me when I'm on the dance floor. I trust that I've built enough internal capacity to feel the discomfort that I might feel if someone sees me and doesn't and has a reaction. And a lot of us it is a really it's a capacity we develop because often if someone judges us or we perceive that someone might judge us, it creates it such a discomfort in the body then we go, okay, what do I do to get rid of this discomfort? And that often means contorting ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Yes. Tell us how not to do that it's quite a journey.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

But first of all you contort your body you contort your body you contort your appearance you contort your expression you contort your creativity you contort what you want to say and we contort in order to not have to feel the discomfort of someone not liking us. Wow and our own our own shame our own internalized shame of oh my God what if someone not liking me means I'm wrong or bad. So part of it is noticing slowing down and noticing that discomfort in your body because we often just automatically react. We go oh can't wear this oh shouldn't do that like it's so automatic because it's so ingrained. So being able to create a gap between reaction and behavior like the the reaction in your body you know you're putting on that outfit and you're like I like this oh but is it too weird oh but what uh is anyone else gonna be wearing something like this and you start to like watch your mind do all these things oh I don't like this I don't really what if I look too fat what and we notice the mind taking over with the stories. So if you can slow down enough to go whoa what am I feeling in my body right now? I feel this twinging in my chest and this ringing in my stomach and this squirminess and this discomfort in my shoulders and we go whoa what is that really about what am I really afraid of in this moment like get real with yourself. What am I really afraid of in this moment? I'm afraid of someone not liking me okay and if someone were to not like you what would you feel I'd feel really sad. I'd feel really hurt and would you make that sadness or that hurt mean anything about you? Well I'd probably make it mean that I messed up and that I'm bad and that I'm not worthy of love. Okay. So can I in that moment can I rewrite the narrative and can I go am I willing to feel my own sadness or hurt that I might feel if someone judges me can I meet myself in that instead of abandoning myself and contorting myself in order to not feel the pain of someone's disapproval and like can I literally like hold my own body and say I will be there for you. I'm not gonna abandon you I'm can I build this relationship with myself where I am my own best friend which right it's a journey it doesn't happen overnight.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

I gotta say so many I remember in my 20s thinking when people would say that I'd be like what does that mean now I I am full throttle on with that best when you when you have I always say like with without me I have nothing if I didn't have me like to be your true best friend right I mean you you just you feel it I can tell like right what you're saying not because I want to interrupt what you're saying because it's so powerful but I want to highlight it for all the women and of course men too but you know this is like I'm just highlighting women in this regard that when we get dressed how many outfits are taken off and thrown on the bed to do to please another and you know interesting I feel like you're my soul sister because I swear because my first degree was in fashion buying and merchandising because I love I worked in fashion too girl what? Right? So I love clothes and the expression in clothes. You'd never know because I'm wearing black today. But the thing is is that getting dressed for me is fun. I get excited but how many times have I shifted what I thought looked I loved it. It made me happy but it wasn't acceptable out there. But isn't that how fashion leads yeah you know it's that confidence that does that it's you wear the outfit the outfit doesn't wear you right so now I'm like okay so this freedom and if you think about like people also with eating disorders I'm going back to that but because it's such a big thing you they go and buy an outfit because it just covers the shame for one wearing you wear it again it doesn't cover it. So I don't know why I trail down that path but you you right now the things that you're saying are so important for so many people right so what what would you do with someone which I think there's so many people who desperately want to be free desperately and they don't even really understand or even believe it's possible where do you think see I think I'm not sure if I uh I think I think it's both ways but would you say that it kind begins internally and also you know like your your inner your inner mind heart and all of that but also I think also the movement of the body immediately chains em changes emotion too I just want would love to just hear you speak on any of those things.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yeah I think I think I I you were like I think it might be both and I think I think it is both right it's it's like what comes first the chicken or the egg right you know like there's so many things that contribute to our healing to us finding freedom yes the inner work and also surrounding ourselves with relationships with community that's why I love therapy and groups and communities where we can learn to see ourselves through the eyes of another someone who loves us because we often learn to hate ourselves or outsource our sense of worthiness to other people we learn that in relationships. Yeah we learn to talk to ourselves like no one comes into this world hating themselves right that voice in your head is not you even if it's been there for decades and you think it's you I'm telling you right now that voice in your head does not belong to you and it never did.

unknown 39:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

So we learn in relationships repeated experiences to uh when we train practitioners in this stuff we call this inner and outer relationships or outer relationships impact our inner relationship with ourself and then our inner relationship with ourself impacts how we relate to the world around us. So it's it's kind of both both and can I work on the inner relationship with myself while actively surrounding myself with people mentors, therapists, teachers, coaches, communities that allow me to create new relational experiences where I learn that I can show this part of myself that I thought everyone would hate and then I can be met with compassion.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

I can be met with someone saying I go through that same thing too that is so healing too it is you know you know the um you it you describe you know about the um nervous system and healing of that um could you speak to um the idea of you know how when you meet someone this is also because there's a so much out there with dating you know that's like the hot topic you know and it's so much negativity around the concept of it you know everywhere all over social. So like when you if people meet someone and maybe they feel like um they say that it's a mixture of anxiety and also you know that heightened feeling of infatuation but it's it's anxiety is mixed in with it right but how would you help someone identify as they're moving moving through something that whether it's a nervousness to see the person or meet the person or something just doesn't vibe right. I've had experiences where I just kept not feeling right and then you blame yourself for not feeling right but you don't know why. And you're like what's wrong with me? Right? But you don't know what it is. And it doesn't mean anyone's doing anything wrong. It's just there's communication happening.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

Yeah yeah yeah my my work specialized this specialized in this for years we helped people with relationship anxiety and that's the big question is it me? Is it this person? Like how how do I know? And you know people often want like the the easy answer but it comes down to what I call embodied discernment. So it's the ability to discern in your body what is safe and what is unsafe, what is for you and what is not for you. And what often happens is yeah sometimes our body becomes anxious and we want to become curious about that anxiety. We want to get to know that anxiety in our body so that we can cultivate that embodied discernment because sometimes we get anxious and then our brain goes, oh, that means everything's wrong but really it's we're afraid of getting hurt. We're afraid of being vulnerable we're afraid of things not working out we're afraid of making a mistake. So the more we can slow down with what's happening in our body and become curious then we can start to get more clarity on what it is that we're picking up on. So yeah sometimes it's I'm I'm just nervous sometimes it's I'm so afraid of getting hurt again I went through a bad relationship and so now every time I date someone I get that I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. And sometimes it's something about the way like something about this person is not sitting right with me. My body doesn't feel fully safe or comfortable around them. And I don't have to explain myself with that. But we do want we do want to get curious and get to know our anxiety get to know what safety feels like in our body versus what feeling unsafe feels like. Because if we don't know that somatically if we don't have the embodied discernment then we're gonna keep going up in our head and second guessing and doubting and going is it me is it this is it me is it this but when we can get to know that anxiety somatically we become more clear on oh this is my old wounding this is coming from the past this is not about the present moment this is this is my fear of getting hurt this is my fear of making a mistake this is my fear of someone not liking me or we could say this is rooted in the present moment there's like there's something about this person that's I can't quite put a finger on it and I don't need to like be able to give a dissertation on why. But this is this is feeling rooted in the present moment about it's specifically about this person.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

And it's that's also being your best friend too being able to give yourself permission for that and you don't have to explain I'm curious about um when you're describing someone identifying so really knowing their anxiety and and if i butcher this please you know correct me so they know their anxiety and they can they can differentiate between what is historical when what is right but then also knowing what is like current and do you it do you do you think it's just learning about yourself more or um yeah and you and it's it's the way that you're describing it that you have people go inward and identify what those feelings are you go all the way to say oh it's this reminds me of my you know what's interesting and this you're gonna know this this happens to all of us and like that clients always you know if you can help them get there so it's like this reminds me of my dad right so let's say you know some negative behavior this reminds me of my dad but I'm also but it doesn't but the behavior itself like it's resonating with it but the behavior itself is not actually a problem but is it pointing to a problem right will will it then turn into that you know and then like the layers of you know um any kind of old feeling do you think it's possible see I'm I'm asking a double question do you think it's possible I think anything's possible but do you think it's I really do but do you think it's possible to really cleanse out like the old wounding in such a way that it's just reframed like you know um I spend so much I I spend time reframing thoughts and feelings and experiences just making a new story visually in my mind about different experiences. Do you feel like you can be free from that?

SPEAKER_01 45:53

Absolutely yeah me too. Especially when we invite our body into the process and we not only reframe the story but we reframe how we relate to that pain in our body to where that pain is no longer this thing that overtakes us or hijacks us. But it's this pain that we've met with so much love and compassion that it just softens and we integrate it somatically and now we're no longer living in the the ghost of the past we're like fully in the present and that pain becomes integrated as as wisdom. Yeah I I really fully believe that.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

You know um there's so much talk in our field about um boundaries and for some reason the word boundaries bothers me but we don't have to get into that but I I feel like if we're able to create an inner fortitude like this strength but it's you know it's identified also as this compassion this like you know you you got you you know inside right that that type of strength if I trust me then my outer self my outer world can be soft because I know that no matter what situation I'm in I'm gonna make sure I take care of it even if it ends up being a bad situation. I can trust me to leave it I can trust me to whatever it is to keep me safe I can do it. Yeah right and shouldn't we be raising our kids like that?

SPEAKER_01 47:22

Woo yeah yeah because if you don't trust you then you need everything in your external environment to be a certain way. Exactly you need to trigger proof your life yeah you need to like make you need to behave in this way and you need to do this and you need to do this because if these things are not in place I will I will lose myself yes but like you said if I trust me and if I know in my bones in my cells that I've got me then like I love how you said that the life around me can be soft. I can have more flexibility I can have more understanding I can have more compassion and in the moments where I needed GTFO I know I will GTFo.

SPEAKER_02 48:02

Exactly exactly I am gonna tell the all I'm telling this story because I just want people to hear this and I during I was in Walmart years ago. I think my daughter was 16 not that many years ago I don't want to date myself but anyhow so it was like 40 years ago but no we were in Walmart it was late at night and we were in Florida we live in New York so the it was just me and her and we're we had to go because we moved this stuff into this other place. Why am I telling you the details we needed pillows we realized like at 10 or 11 at night we needed pillows I'm like oh my god we we just gotta go so we went to Walmart it was her and I a man comes up to us it that works there and says hey I just want to tell you that there's a man following you yeah so I I I really do believe I can protect myself and my daughter it doesn't matter that it's late at night it doesn't matter what anybody thinks I know we're safe because we're gonna be right she didn't know it she's like oh my God oh my god oh my god I said grace don't what and I just basically looked for the man I just was like I put my shoulders back I looked for the man I was like okay I don't see him right here but however we are not leaving this store either without protection or the police or whatever it is so we end up right so we go online to um pay and there is literally a man and it's it's almost sounds exaggerated he was probably the scariest man I ever saw in my life and I I I can't even believe it he like and maybe this just I don't even he was so tall and his eyes were like piercing and he was staring at us like he literally like he wanted to kill us. Nope and I'm like embrace like oh my God that's a man look at the man she's like so scared I said I just want to tell you something that you're gonna learn how to trust yourself in a situation like this and I want you to take this situation with you for the rest of your life. So I went up to a Walmart person. They're like oh no they were not going to help us I said so I'd like you to call the police because someone is following us and we're not leaving the store until we're escorted yes it has to be a person who's gonna protect us and it so they're like there's cameras out there I said the cameras will show after the fact we're not leaving so I said and it has to happen or I'll call the police so I was I was explaining to her that there's not any chance that we're not going to be safe so I so I also looked up where is the location of a close police department because I was thinking when we when we even when we exit and even if we're we're escorted which we were taken to our car that guy could still follow us. Yeah so I'm I'm ready to drive to the police department there is not any chance so I was explaining to her there's not any chance that someone's gonna harm us because I trust me I said I want you to learn how to not move think about how you can do the thing that's going to ensure you no matter what anybody thinks screaming yelling whatever yeah the only reason I say that to you is because I want people to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Like if a teenager hears it like I feel like a lot of us aren't learning that we actually there's so many things we can do to ensure our safety right yeah and this is what what we call self-advocacy do you trust yourself that if you do need external support you will advocate for that exactly without being afraid of oh I don't want to make a scene I don't want to maybe maybe maybe it's gonna be okay I don't want to ask for too much I don't want to bother anyone I don't want to make you know like we're we're so afraid of being seen advocating for our needs and for our safety and I love that you modeled for your daughter like this is what it looks like to advocate for yourself. Yes she didn't want me to talk to them.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

Right. No please don't make the bury me I said no we're gonna be safe and then when they weren't helping us I insisted I made them help us I'm like no there's not you are helping us yeah I didn't care who heard it I told people around I said somebody's following us I was just loud and the thing is like you know what it's funny because we this is not modeled. No you know oh my weirdo mom but actually she actually loves it now like she appreciates that so I just want you know the how many kids are in a situation where they're like shh be quiet you know don't make a no so I dance in stores by the way not like you though yeah yes so back to everything that you're sharing if you if you have let's say you have someone with you who has lost all hope and they're contemplating uh dying by suicide they can't see the light and you know that happens we are in the company of people who really really really want to die right so I'm just curious um as to your approach or what you would say to someone even anyone who's listening to this because there are people who listen on here who actually do want to die. So I'm just wondering what you would say to them.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Yeah oof I know it's a hard one and at the same time it's I think so many people are there's so much stigma around suicidal ideation and either people are afraid to admit it or they're afraid of what people will say if they admit it. So I first just want to completely say like you're not alone of course you want the pain to end that's really what suicidal ideation is is I'm in so much pain and I won't I want it to end. So I would really just validate their pain I see you I see how much pain you're in I see that like you don't want to be in pain. I see that your body is is just wanting to be seen in that pain and heard and understood. The reason why a lot of people have suicidal ideation is because they don't feel that people really see them and understand and and really hear them and hear the pain that they're in. Either they have to put on a strong face or that pain is minimized. So I would say first of all I see your pain and that of course when we're in pain we're looking for a way to escape it. And also that there are other ways to meet your pain to surround yourself with people find find someone a therapist a some sort of support someone that you know will just hold space for your pain where you can let yourself say this talks this hurts because we often think that if I if I talk about the pain if I let myself feel the pain that it'll make the pain worse but when our pain is met with love it begins to slowly gently soften there becomes this little glimmer of like maybe just maybe I'll be okay. Because I can feel in this moment that someone sees me, that I matter, that my existence matters because someone is seeing me and I'm starting to see myself through the eyes of someone else. Because it's so easy to get completely clouded by that pain that we don't the the clouds are so thick we don't even see the sky anymore. We're like does the sky even still exist? Is the sky even still there? Will I ever see the sun again? And it's when we allow ourselves to actually be witnessed in the pain, acknowledge the pain and let ourselves be held in that that we start to see some of that blue sky poking through the dark clouds.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

Yeah that's beautiful thank you. One of the things that I hear a lot is that you know people will say um that what does it matter because no one loves me anyhow. Yeah you know and there's the you know there's so many and just to your point I love what you're saying and I would also connect it to the other things that you're saying about and I I understand that someone in that much pain may not believe that they can do this but if they don't have a person that we were just describing that the one person you have your whole life is you. You know, which is you know like this odd thing because you're feeling like maybe even self-loathing so it's harder to um to connect with yourself. But you know like I've seen that it's almost like a takeover of the mind the suicide mind. It's like an eclipse the way you just described it and uh believing that there's no hope like this thing will never change. And I've I've actually had the feeling where it felt like almost like a sense of relief because there didn't seem like there was any answer to the struggle. But what I have discovered in my long life is that there is always a solution.

SPEAKER_01 57:44

There's always one always you just haven't found it yet yeah yeah and and like something I've been saying to myself a lot when things are really hard it's like be willing to be nosy enough to see what's on the other side of this fear, this pain can I be nosy enough to go like I have to see what's on the other side I'm too nosy to not see what happens if I just hold on a little bit longer because some of the greatest things in my life could be on the other side but right now I'm just in the unknown. I don't we go I don't know if there's an answer. I don't know if I'll ever get out of this is what I've known this has been familiar and because it's been familiar and because it's been known it's hard to imagine an unknown scenario in which things feel different. But one thing I know about life and what I've learned about life is that the unknown contains everything you've ever wanted. But most people are not willing to make it to the other side of the unknown to get into the no they they stay in the known and they give up before they make it to the the other side where the unknown the not yet the almost the still unfolding where things actually shift and the only thing constant in life is change. If you think you're stuck you're just repeating the known life is about evolution life itself is about change. So if you can even just believe in that that like the only constant in life is change. If I look at the trees they're changing if I like things are changing the old is dying away and the new is reborn so if I can trust in just life itself and how life works and if I'm part of life if I'm part of this whole thing this big cosmic life thing then maybe too I will reflect nature and the old will die away and something new will be reborn in its place.

SPEAKER_02 59:45

And isn't everything that we are um ourselves every that we're not the same person as we were seven years ago yeah like we we're there the turnover even our bones like they break down and then they build up it's just it's that it's it's that is what life is I think so many young people um they they haven't had the evidence yet yeah yeah that getting through the thing is like actually can happen. So which I I ask people just stick around like what you're saying but just a different language like stick around to gain your evidence you know of sick that you can move that that this actually can work out. I do this little um practice it's 10 minutes a day and it's um any fear I have because there's always like every day there's a fear or a concern. You know I I I I can't lie I mean that doesn't mean my whole day is a mess but I I mean if I would challenge anyone to say do you have anything that you just think won't work out or whatever it is. So what I do is identify what it is and the any what if I have inside of my body what if so what if so and so turns out like this because then I'm identifying what I'm w concerned about, you know while fear is future based, right? So now then I ask myself the question how can how can I ensure that this works out in the way whatever the thing is the way that I need and then I list what my first step will be. You know maybe I'm gonna identify the the the little action steps that I can do just today. And it's incredible I I've been doing it every day for like 20 something days. I'm like wow like ever so it's clearing it out like every day I didn't think it would be this powerful but it's it's amazing how many answers are inside of us when we ask right okay I love that yes that we get to choose how we're gonna part co-create with life how we're gonna participate in life. Yes you wanna shut shall we like dive in I know like one more thing or do I believe no I've got I've got some time. All right so manifestation thoughts are things we're co-creators I mean I'm certain of it like I just like anything anything that's bothering me just comes more and anything so I'm like consciously trying to always be in charge of my mind but what I'm curious about for you how do you do that with your body like tell me like like because let's say people want money isn't money freedom so like creating freedom in your body that's right so Dia what you think about all of this.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:41

Ooh girl yes yes so I've over the last couple years I've been studying the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza and he's I'm gonna go of course of course to all of his advanced retreats oh my god we're twins really okay we're gonna we're gonna go to the next one okay um so he says the thought is the signal that sends out to the universe what you want and the the emotion is what draws it to you so emotion happens in the body right thoughts happen in the mind our mind can create our mind can imagine but emotion is a body thing our brains literally don't feel like when they do brain surgery they put you under because they're gonna cut your scalp open and that's gonna freaking hurt but your brain doesn't feel your body is the seat of your emotions so when we can cultivate the energy cultivate the emotions inside of us that align with the freedom we want to feel even before the money is there. Can I create the feeling inside of myself first and feel that like wow I have the ability to create an experience inside of myself before the external thing is there.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:52

I'm not outsourcing and waiting I'll be happy when the money's there I'll be happy when I have the perfect partner I'll be I'll feel this when it's no how can I partner with my body to create that inside of me now it's the most you become a wizard Harry like yes yes yes do you know that I used to like conjure up like visualize and then actually be in the state where I could feel so loved that I need literally need nothing. Yeah there's nothing on that this earth has for me that is and it's just you know like the feeling that the thing that you actually want you already have now right because the reason we want the thing is because of of the feeling it'll bring us yes yes and we're so afraid not to have it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:42

Yeah yeah and it's creating from Dr. Joe Dispenza says create from wholeness not from lack.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:48

So if I already know I have it inside of me and I can create that feeling inside of me then I I create from wholeness instead of I hope that this thing will give me the the feeling I want.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:58

Yeah you know this um other you know I have a few little practices I do so like um when I leave my house I stop at the door and I say you know and I say it throughout the day there is no um all that I need is within me now there is no lack within me and if I feel myself leaving like you know when you're rushing or whatever I'll ask what's missing you know don't walk out this door in lack don't leave I'm not leaving in lack because what am I going to get I'm not going to get anything I'm I'm not gonna leave here to get I'm gonna leave here whole and it's like a weird practice but it makes you just like just self reflect for a minute. Because we're so much of the day is experiences of lack. Yeah I think for me anyhow I mean yeah I mean it's we're conditioned that's that's how society's conditioned.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

I want something outside of me I work hard to go get it then I feel But then it's it's a never-ending chase.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:03

You want the next thing and the next thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:05

Yeah. So could you tell me, like, what do you um you have currently have um a business where you do this. So tell us about that. Tell us what you do.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

Yeah. So we do several things. Um the biggest thing is we train therapists, mental health professionals, coaches in how to do creative somatic work, how to help guide their clients into their bodies safely, effectively, ethically. Um, it's a year-long certification program. It's in freaking credible. I'm obsessed. We also um have two other programs. One is called the Embody Leader Mastermind. And this is if you want to make an impact on the world, if you want to make a positive impact on the world, how can you become the embodiment of what you're here to lead? How can you allow yourself to feel safe to be more visible? How can you lead from authenticity? How can you create that wholeness inside of yourself and be the transformation that you want to guide other people through? So it's really about locking into your purpose, locking into your power. And then we have a program called Holy Human, W-H-O-L-L-Y. And it's everything we've been saying. How can I come back to the wholeness of my human experience instead of believing that certain parts of me are wrong and bad and I shouldn't have this and I should, should, should, should should, should, should, should, shouldn't? How can I come home to the wholeness, the entirety of my human experience without shame, without judgment, and really reclaim myself?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:36

That's beautiful. Do you do that virtually? Do you do it in in-house or how our company is international?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:44

We do everything virtually. Um, we do offer um in-person retreats, especially with our certification program. There's a week-long training retreat that's part of it. And also we're gonna be doing a one-time week-long retreat at Omega Institute in New York called the Neurobiology of Healing.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:00

Okay, where let me get in September.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:04

Where is the how come I don't know about the Omega Institute? It's about two hours from New York City. Um it's like update. Rhine back? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So um we're we are doing that this year, which we're so excited about. They they reached out to us and hired us to lead this week-long retreat all about somatics and embodiment, and we're just so excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:29

That is so wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:31

Yeah, so we're we're looking to do more in-person opportunities as well, but all of our work is done virtually. We have clients in London, Spain, Australia, Mexico, Canada, US. Like we have people all around the world. It's very, very special.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:46

You know what you're doing, right? I mean, you're you're you're changing the world. You know that, right? I mean, you I'm I mean, maybe you're not you don't feel like you can say it, but I can say it. You're changing the world because like every one person, I always tell all the therapists here, every one person you touch goes generation after generation. And um you're you are changing the collective consciousness, you know, and I I feel so blessed to speak to you and to have gotten to know you because I it is not often, you know, a lot you know, when we meet people and we yeah, I'm even I'm gonna have you even speak to this because I think this is really important because of relationships, just connections, human connections, that as someone is evolving and expanding, a lot of people are you know, um taught that that's not what we do, like the that it's just mediocrity. That's one of the things about my podcast is like how do we crush mediocrity so people can have like the life that they really are meant to have? So if you um this to to meet someone who yes understands like all of that about quantum physics and neuroscience and Dr. Joe, you know, and then what would you say to this is a good this is um like this is a good question? What would you say to someone who like we're all taught about upgrading or auditing our relationships? You know, that you're the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with and all of that. And I believe that we we do, we share brainwaves, we share energy. So in regard to that, um, someone who cares for people and takes care, you know, and helps people, how how would you share with someone about how to begin to upgrade their their social emotional relationships?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:53

Yeah pressure. I mean, find find spaces, you know. If you look around your life and you're like, oh my gosh, wow, like the people in my life, they're belittling, they're not like they're not uplifting me. I don't feel safe to be who I am. If that's where you're at, first of all, like you're not alone. You're you're not screwed. Find we have to let ourselves get uncomfortable, right? To go outside of our comfort zone. That could be like, okay, I'm gonna start going to yoga classes or a dance class. I'm gonna start intentionally putting myself in new places where I'm gonna meet new people who are maybe more in line with what I want to be and what I want to create. Even like these online communities, like the the relationships that are formed in my group programs are insane. Like the love that is felt from strangers around the world, like whether it's physical, um, putting yourself in new physical places, putting yourself in new virtual places, but getting over that hump of discomfort of putting yourself in new places, because that's the only way we build relationships, is putting ourselves out there and intentionally looking for communities, activities, places, people where we're gonna find people who are aligned with what we want to build in our life.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:07

I love that. And you know what? I can um just piggyback on that. I belong to a couple of like worldwide communities that you know they're all over, but you know, like for entrepreneurs, but all personal development and really like like-mind-minded people. And I find that I have friends all over the world, really, you know. So it turns into that maybe in the local community, like even Jesus said, you know, a prophet, you know, is like in his hometown is like whatever. But it's like um a lot of times they're all over the place. I mean, that's that's a pro that's mostly of my experience. Like I have friends all over Canada, it doesn't matter. And um yeah, but it that actually uh affirmed something in me because I wonder sometimes about having these uh like a community that's close to home as well. You know, and I know that people need that, but maybe maybe not because I get so much of my um you know connection in that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:14

So yeah, that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:16

Yeah, and that's what I love. That's the positive thing about the internet, is like we can literally find our community anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:23

Yeah, it's true. Yeah, yeah. The world has become smaller. Yeah, yeah. So tell us how um we can serve you and how um how everyone can find you. And maybe I'll ask one more thing about your stuff. So if if you when you have the the you know the week long is in September, correct? And um where would they find that information?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:54

Yeah. Okay. So you'll go to healingembodied.com forward slash retreat. Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:01

Yeah, then um, in regard to let's say, like um, you're describing training practitioners, right? So um you do group and do you also do individual?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:14

Yeah, so when we train practitioners, we we train it in cohorts. So that is um group, we keep it very small and intimate. But if you want to learn more about that, again, our website, healingembodied.com, you'll see the tab get certified. Um, you'll also see everything else we offer. But if if you just want to connect with me, um, you know, we have an incredible free resource um that has tons of little trainings, podcast episodes all about somatic work and somatic healing. So if you go to healingembodied.com forward slash connect, you'll see where to opt in to get that free resource. It's it's like a library full of all things, somatics and embodiment. So if you're really interested in like learning more about this for yourself, or if you're a therapist and you want to learn more about it, that's a great um resource to opt into. But you can find me on Instagram at healing.embodied. Um, we also have a free Facebook community called the Embodied Leader Paradigm, pretty much anywhere on the internet or there. What is that called?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:10

Body Leader Paradigm? The Embodied Leader Paradigm. It's a free Facebook group. Yeah. Okay, lovely. So now one more question. A therapist who goes through this year um long uh training, uh, that certification, what does that certify them for?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:30

Yeah. So you get certified both through us at Healing Embodied, you become a certified Healing Embody practitioner. And then you're also certified through the Complementary Therapist Accreditation Association. So this gives you international certification to practice as a somatic practitioner. So if you're wanting to expand, you can either integrate it into your existing practice as a clinical therapist, or if you're wanting to expand your services, if you're wanting to offer an online virtual, more of like a coaching style group, if you're wanting to offer separate services that are focused on somatics and somatic healing and growth and expansion, you can use this certification any for anywhere in the world, which is really incredible.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:13

That's awesome. Logger counseling services will be uh involved somehow. We're gonna see. Yeah. The um okay, I have so many questions, but we'll keep talking. We'll keep talking. I just adore you. I think. Is there what do you wish I would have asked you that I didn't?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:34

I think we covered it, girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:36

Okay, so there's nothing missing.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:38

I feel complete.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:39

We're there is no lack within us.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:41

There I am whole. I am whole.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:45

Do you want to do one um small practice that you could tell people like for like a minute? Do you do anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:52

Yeah, yeah. Since we're already here with our hands over our heart, you can put your hands over your chest. And we're just gonna create space inside of our our heart space. Okay. So we're gonna take a breathe breath in and literally feel your chest moving upward and feel the space being created inside of your body. And as you exhale, feel your body soften and yield down into the earth. And see how much space you can create in your chest, in your rib cage as you breathe in. Can I create space for any and all emotions? Can I create space inside of my body for discomfort, for fear, for sadness? And can I soften around it instead of contract or push it away? Can I make space and can I soften? And you can use that whenever you need it.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:54

Love it. I love you.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:57

Girl, I'm gonna get your number. We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna be BFS.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:00

You're like my fa you're like my you're my fast friend right here. I love that! You're like my new best friend. Girl, hit me up. Reach out to Chelsea. You it will it you will not regret it. And I can tell, I mean, I've been in this field forever, so I won't date myself, but this woman will change your life by the incredible golden nuggets that she has to share with you. And um she's uh genuine and authentic and somebody that you definitely would want to expand with. And so just all in the show notes will be all of the information to reach her. And I I I know that you will uh do that. And uh now it's a wrap.