Why You Keep Ending Up in the Same Relationship

"Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship?"

In this episode of Alison Answers, Alison explores why we can keep repeating the same dating and relationship patterns, even when the names and faces change.

This conversation is not about blame. It is about awareness.

Alison breaks down how identity, emotional programming, and familiar feelings can shape who we choose, what we tolerate, and why certain relationship patterns keep showing up again and again.

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep attracting the same kind of person, why healthy love can feel unfamiliar, or why you find yourself people-pleasing, over-explaining, rescuing, chasing, or settling, this episode will help you look at the pattern with more honesty and compassion.

Because the deeper question is not always, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

Sometimes it is, “What version of me keeps choosing this?”

In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize repeated relationship patterns, understand what your behavior may be pointing to, and begin asking the questions that help you choose from a healthier version of yourself.

Watch or listen to the full episode of Alison Answers now.

In this episode:

00:00 Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship?
02:28 Identity, pattern recognition, and emotional programming
05:51 Looking at the pattern instead of just the person
07:18 The feelings you keep repeating in relationships
10:23 Why familiar does not always mean healthy
16:05 When calm feels boring and chaos feels like love
21:14 How identity shapes what you tolerate
24:41 Why awareness is only the first step
27:24 Who do I need to become to choose differently?
33:08 Questions to ask yourself about love and identity
36:13 Taking responsibility for your relationships

Connect with Alison:

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• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

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Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Transcript

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Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship? What is the version of me that keeps choosing this same relationship? Who do I need to become? Who do I want to be? But their actual issue is to look in and say, how come I feel anxious again in a romantic situation? How come I find myself overexplaining and people pleasing in a relationship again? Look at your behavior. Behavior points to identity. It also points to the feelings that we feel the most. You don't ask the question, who keeps doing this to me? You say, what do I keep doing? How can I set the standards that will help her not do that anymore? Who do I need to become in order to choose the right one? Who do I need to be in order for this to happen for me? Hey guys, how are you today? It is Allison from Allison Answers and Lager Counseling Services. I have asked myself a question a billion times throughout my entire life, is why do I end up, I keep ending up in the same type of relationship or the same type of situation over and over again. And what people typically do, and I cannot even begin to tell you how many people come to me with that question over the last 30 some odd years, why do I keep doing the same thing over and over again? Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship over and over again? And typically what they do is they blame the other people. They say, um, you know, that person, you know, I'm I'm always a trap, I'm always finding myself with an emotionally unavailable person. Maybe it's a narcissist, or it's a, you know, a person that they have to rescue, or it's somebody who needs fixing, or it's someone who's gonna rescue them, or it's maybe it's someone who like says all the right things and then just completely changes, or it's somebody who freaking like let's say is a person who controls you or points out what's wrong with you, or those kinds of things. There's so many different variables of repeated relationships, but there's only really a few things about it that will make you shift and change. And what I want to go into today is basically it's three things. I jotted them down on my whiteboard that's right in front of me down here. It's identity, it's pattern recognition, and it's emotional programming and how we repeat, we we repeat things over and over again because our body is designed for repetition, habit stacking, routine, and all of that. So we're gonna get into it, but the the person that I'm talking to is a person who just is like, oh my God, what's wrong with me? Why is it that I keep landing in the same spot? You know, I put my navigation to go to California and I end up in Mississippi. And I don't know how this happened. I did all the right things, I did all the work, I changed myself. And I have been there so many times throughout my life and throughout my growth process. So I just want to tell you everything that I'm talking about today is something that I had to work through and I continue to work through. Any evidence that comes to me of something in my life that I'm not sure of or something that makes me wonder about me, like, wow, you know, how did that repeat? You know, what I do in that moment is I say, okay, let me take a look inward. Let me not focus outward and blame others. Let me find out what my identity is in the current moment. Because when we find out who we actually believe we are, that we will be attracting or choosing or most comfortable with things that match or work well with the identity that is running the show. And the identity is based in our programming from our childhood and from all of the built-out experiences we have had that have supported that childhood programming. So after enough like, you know, heartache and like anger, all the different things that people go through, a lot of times people land at different variations. Some people land at all men suck, all men are dogs, you know, women are superficial, like these blanket statements about large groups in our population, because we want to make sense of the sadness inside. And I see that as an epidemic right now. I cannot believe the things I hear men and women say about the opposite sex. I it's really mind-blowing to me. And they believe it. They'll, you know, like men will believe, I'm I'm making this up, like, you know, women can't drive. I'll just use that as a joke. Or, or women will believe, like all men cheat, or they'll believe that, you know, there's no good men out there. Um, all the good men are taken, all the um beauty, all the, you know, women, all women care about is money, right? Because of different experiences that people have had and the evidence that has built that idea in their mind. And it was probably built a long, long time ago in different forms. So, so the big question to ask yourself, not we want to look at what is repeating over and over again. So, to me, the thing to look at is not, oh, I'm in this same, you can be with the same person that comes into your life that is wildly different from the other people that have been there. And you may be missing the pattern that's running the show. And what you want to look at instead of the person, because that's what people do a lot. And I used to almost teach people to do that, which is it's valuable to say, oh, you know, I choose somebody who's emotionally unavailable, I choose somebody who's who's this, who's that, right? And then that you create this picture of a person. But that is not the actual issue. It's something to keep an eye out for, but their actual issue is to look in and say, how come I feel anxious again in a situation situation? Or how come I feel less than again in a romantic situation? Or how come I find myself trying to fix a person again in a romantic situation? How come I find myself overexplaining and people pleasing in a relationship again? Look at your behavior. Behavior points to identity, it also points to the feelings that we feel the most. So, what we tend to do, if you can stop for a moment and ask yourself this one question What is the feeling that I felt the most in my childhood? Just breathe and think about it. Don't think about it, feel about it. What is that feeling? And what is another question is what is the feeling that I feel the most in my life now? Breathe, ask yourself that question. But then if you find yourself in these like possibly distorted or um unhappy situations, it could be at work, it could be with different relationships. This is mostly about relationships. You find yourself in a situation, feeling a feeling that you don't like in a relationship or even just dating. Ask yourself the question, isolate the feeling and ask, when have I felt this way before? Start to notice is this a feeling that I felt, you know, as a primary feeling when I was growing up? You know, anxiety, unsure of myself, whatever, whatever that is. Become aware of yourself and your identity because our identity is the deciding factor in the outcomes of our life. So, like the these things like all men are the same, they're no good men, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What keeps us? The real question is not, you know, the names change, right? It's just a different set of characters in the play and the movie that we're creating and we're recreating over and over and over again, right? So what you ask yourself a few questions. What is the feeling that I feel the most in this relationship? What keeps repeating? Like what is it inside of me? What behaviors of mine keep repeating, right? Um not you don't ask the question, who keeps doing this to me? You say, what do I keep doing? So I keep, you know, being silent when uh a person is overbearing, or I or I become controlling when a person seems like they don't have their life together. Whatever it is, it could be anything, but you need to have pattern recognition for yourself. And you know what? There's not that many patterns out there. Tony Robbins talks about that. So the thing is look, you could date five different people, they have five different careers, they have different personalities, they're different ages, and somehow you still feel anxious, right? You always feel abandoned, right? You always overfunction, or you always end up being the caretaker with different people, right? That's the thing. It's like different people, but this isn't a coincidence. This is identity, this is like us, right? So some of the things that I've done, I've I find this fascinating because once you really take hold of this, you can change your life. And then even if you find yourself in a situation where you're playing out one of those roles that matches this identity, and we'll go into those identities too. But you have to remember our brain loves, loves, loves, loves repetition, right? It loves the familiar. It loves, you know, like this is where like everything comes together. Like our nervous system is designed to recognize familiar patterns. Remember that, okay? There's no, it's not like, oh, my, my, my nervous system is only going to recognize healthy patterns, and but it's gonna, and then I'll be okay. No, it's gonna recognize familiar patterns and we must remember that. So if we don't understand what our from what our familiar patterns are, the things that like, you know, that we just keep experiencing, not looking outward at the person or the place or the situation, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, right? We have to, we have to be the person who is the wise observer. How many times do I tell you guys that? Be the wise observer, yes. So you want to observe what's going on in real time in your life. Okay. So I can give you a little example from me. One of the things that I noticed about myself is that, and this is not currently happening, so you know, don't run with this. So basically, and it and what would happen is that when I was a little girl, I for some reason always believed that I had to prove to my dad that I loved him and that he was important to me. Because my dad was more silent, and I must have intuitively known uh as a little girl that my mom was not finding him important. She was not as into him. So I think that part of me wanted to undo my mom. I, you know, this is like this inner thing. I didn't realize it. I didn't know it. But what I was doing was, you know, if I saw my dad sitting, I would be over, you know, in my yard and my uncle would be playing, you know, he'd be playing with me and laughing and talking to me. And I loved him and I thought it was so much fun. And then I would look over and see my dad just sitting silently. And then I'd be like, oh gosh, I should go over there. Bing, a little girl trying to take care of a grown-ass man, right? Oh my gosh, he's not doing okay. Like, or whatever it was that I felt inside. And when we're children, we're egocentric. So everything's about us. So I would project or I would internalize the concept that I'm having fun with my uncle, I'm enjoying myself. Now it must mean that my dad is now sad because of what I'm doing. Clearly, it could have been something else. Maybe he wasn't even sad. That's the point. I drew a conclusion. The only reason that I'm even bringing this up is because I did find later in my life that I would, you know, as like in my 20s or whatever, that I would try to prove to people. And I would find that people very often didn't believe they they didn't believe that I liked them, or they would, they would want like, so then I would feel like, wow, I gotta like show them, I gotta prove to them that I like them, I gotta, you know, whatever it is. And it what ended up happening is it didn't matter if I liked them or not. What mattered is that they felt better. So I would abandon myself in order to please them, right? So that was a big thing in my earlier years, in my, you know, teens or whatever it was. Not really, I do have to say, just a disclaimer, I had a long-term boyfriend and I'm not talking about him in high school. I don't want him to hear this and think I was talking about him. I wasn't doing that with him. But anyhow, so I had different experiences like that. And I noticed as I went through my life that I was definitely overcompensating. I was undoing my mom. My mom also was a hippie. And she was, she didn't wear makeup, she didn't, you know, her hair, she just really didn't do anything with her hair. She like didn't dress nice. You know, she's a beautiful woman, but she didn't, she didn't do much to be beautiful or attractive. And she just happened to be beautiful, but it was, she was very like, you know, non, very plain, right? So I projected onto that that I had to now undo this to in order to be pleasing or whatever. And I became glamorous, you know. And but I think part of that is part of anything, uh any part of me that I am anyhow, I'm already that, but I really took it to the extreme. So that's another thing. Okay, so now I'm go, I digressed, but I wanted to share a little bit of that with you. The thing is, is that you want to stop and ask this question. It's very important. You're you're what I was saying is that your nervous system is designed for the familiar, right? And what you want to do is, you know, it's just sometimes you just have have to have simple recognition. Like you recognize, okay, I know this feeling. I'm doing that all the time. If all of a sudden my feeling shifts, I'm like, okay, wait a minute. This I know this feeling. And usually it's not good. I'm like, you know, that it this is a feeling that hurts. This is, you know, this is when like some sort of staticky situation feels familiar or like a calm feels boring, right? Instead of, you know, um peaceful. You know, if like in if inconsistency or unpredictable situations were your norm as a childhood situation, it's very natural that consistency could feel boring, like, oh God, here we go again, right? It may not feel grounding, but consistency is um a very necessary component component to love. So is emotional regulation. And I think we end up finding that, you know, we look for, because the heightened part of when you meet someone and you're excited to be with them and all of that, we all know, we not we all know, but it is known that that is not just the chemistry and the feeling uh so to associated with the person, is also anxiety attached to it. So very, very often people have attached the feeling of insecurity with love. Like, oh, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose this person. I'm terrified to lose them. That must be love. It could also be a repeat experience of losing people when you're young or feeling left out or abandoned as a child, right? We all we often feel like we're following our heart, but many of these things are just like conditioning, you know? And it's really important to know that and to be awake. Be awake and aware in the now when you're choosing to date someone. I would do anything if somebody talked to me about this in my 20s, when I was making all these mistakes and being with the wrong people. Like if I had like someone guiding me. And so that's why I hope I reach the the 20 somethings, you know, the people who are just starting out and they they they're dating or they're they're making decisions about who they're gonna marry and spend their life with and have children with, it's really important to know first, first understand the identity you're operating in, because your identity, you'll be able to know what your identity is by the outcomes in your life. If you have a certain amount of money in the bank, there's a part of you and you can't get above it, your identity believes that this is all you're worth or this is all you can have. It's the same thing in a relationship. If you believe that you can only have this kind of person, then you are only going to have eyes and see that person in a room. Another thing I want to point out, and I know that I did this, is that I came from a home that I was embarrassed for people to come over and see my home. I felt um less than, severely less than most people. I felt like um now I look back and I see it differently the way my home was. I had very highly intellectual parents and just a lot of wonderful things in my home, but there was a lot of neglect and there was a lot of like, it was like messy, and I was ashamed of my home. And I was always trying to fix it and make it better and all this. And what ended up happening was I knew intuitively, not necessarily consciously, I somehow knew that I could not be with a guy who had a great home, a great house, a great um, you know, a great situation. If they were not a little muddy, rusty, you know, down to earth, I would kind of qualify that as somebody who was like good and cool and not stuck up and all that. Instead of, I never even considered that I could be with someone who was, you know, really had their self together and like their family was like, you know, there wasn't like a problem. So I would choose people who I felt either could I could I wouldn't feel ashamed with later. I could just, you know, they it wouldn't be that bad. And or there, I would also choose people who couldn't hurt me. So that's another thing. If you believe that relationships will hurt you, there's different ways to do it. You could just repeat the hurt, or you could, as a strategy to protect yourself, which we do, we don't even know we're doing it. These are defense mechanisms. What we'll do is we will choose someone that we know they like us, and we know they can't hurt us. And that's a way to play it safe. But I don't recommend that. So, anyhow, identity, remember, is our hidden driver. It is the thing that's running our life. So behavior follows identity, and so do relationships, right? So if you believe, like a lot of people believe, I have to earn love, you know, somewhere inside of them, you'll naturally like tolerate relationships where you have to, you know, you're always like constantly trying to earn or perform. If you believe that your values come from helping, you're gonna choose people who need help, right? If your identity says, I'm not good enough, I'm not enough, you're gonna settle, you know, for someone who would take you as you are, you know, in the lower level that you believe you are, instead of really shaping and changing your identity. So basically, our our identity like will very like the or unconscious mind will just subtly, it will be like filtering what's around. It's like it will it will filter out what we notice, who's around, like what we tolerate, what we go after. You know, we can call it chase. It's gonna filter out like that. What feels normal, what we reject. If you had a very like chaotic and unpredictable environment, disorganized environment. I grew up in a disorganized environment. You might choose someone who creates the feeling. It doesn't even have to mean that they're disorganized. It could just be they create that staticky feeling. So please remember, please, we will only allow into our lives what our identity allows. Like we don't choose, we don't choose what we want. We typically choose like who we are. We don't call into our lives the things that really, we really, really want. If you could ask yourself the question, what you really, really want in a relationship, do you believe you can have it? It's important to ask yourself that. What you really, really want in a woman, are you the person right now who has the qualities, the behaviors, the thinking, the emotional regulation? Are you the person who matches and has access to the woman that you want? And as a woman, if you want this particular man with all of these qualities, are you right now, currently, are you the woman who that man would want to be with? Now, there's a couple of things. You could be the woman that that man wants to be with and you don't believe it, or you could be someone who's not looking inward or growing and changing and becoming a higher, the becoming the real you, the highest version of you that would then match that person. You know, a lot of times people like want a certain job, but they they're not the person, then they wait until the job comes to them to become the person who can do that job. Oh, I'm you know, I I never really get those opportunities, you know. But are you the person that when that opportunity shows up can match it? Like when that woman shows up, are you the man that can, you know, be with her? Right? Think about that. And this is about not beating yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with us. We all have this. There's no one who's exempt. Sorry, it's true. Okay, so now if you're about like I was saying, we are choosing things based on who we are, not who they are. That you're only seeing those people. So this is it. So awareness of this, like you hearing this podcast, is not the thing that's going to change your identity. It's simply just not going to do that. Okay. So what will change your identity is like, I know I shouldn't. So you'll say to yourself, I know I shouldn't date people like this, right? I know, you know, I know I've dated people like this before. Knowledge isn't the transformation. You could find yourself there, like, oh my God, here I go. I did it again. I hear people say this all the time. But what are we going to do about it? What are we doing? So you you've, okay, insight, wonderful. I'm a therapist. I love insight. But awareness doesn't create a new identity. It's the first step. Awareness is always the first step to change. Awareness, acceptance, action. So you become aware and then you don't beat yourself up. You accept the fact that, wow, this is my identity. You know, this is the identity that for whatever reason, from the time I'm a little girl, I have created this identity and it's not serving me well. So I am going to tell the take the adulting action, which is the third step to change. Action. Identity is going to change through evidence. It's going to every single healthy parameter, every no you say, every difficult conversation, every time you walk away, because your higher self is saying, you know what, that's not good for you, little girl, because that younger part of you may still yearn for that, you know, way of fixing the problem, right? Every time you choose peace over static and chaos and problems, right? Every time you stop trying to prove your worth, all of those things, what you're doing is you're collecting evidence and you're teaching this younger and more hurting part of yourself. You're guiding yourself, kind of like reparenting. But that's not really the only way to do it because eventually, like it's really cool because you're teaching yourself, and that does help to change your identity. But I think you have to solidly hone in on the identity that is really you, the identity that you really want to walk in. It's good because I my favorite quote, one of them is I lay hold of my vision, obstacles must give way. If you don't know where you're going, you're not getting there. So I like to set an intention. Like, who do I want to be? You know? So I want to be a woman or a man who's capable of um of love and harmony. I am, you know, I am a what? Like, you know, the question, the question shouldn't be, where do I find healthy relationships? The dating apps suck. Like, how often do you hear that? It's like a mantra out there in the world that everybody's just like, the dating sucks. Like, how did this happen? That everybody's saying this. So it's, I think, not I think, I know, that we have to ask consistently, like, who do I need to become in order to choose the right one that I actually want? Who do I need to be in order for this to happen for me? Right. Where I don't hear people saying that. I hear people saying, oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I try not to even listen to it. You know, instead of looking for someone who has these values, have the values yourself, right? Then you're gonna know it right away when somebody doesn't match your or you know, isn't compatible with your values. You know, it's like become someone, instead of like, oh, I want somebody who really loves me and values me. Do you val do you value you? Do you? That's a that's a bigger question. You're with yourself all the time. Right? How do you treat you? When we value ourselves, it's really, really not like it kind of is really obvious when someone doesn't, right? Do you know, like you instead of saying, like, oh, this guy just doesn't respect my boundaries, or this girl, you know, she just, you know, I just she asks for too much or whatever. I are you the person who keeps your boundaries? Are you the one who's secure in who you are and you you're able to just say no when you mean it? You know? What do you think? Saying no to someone is the it's I love when people say no to me because no means I can trust their yes. If you find yourself with a person that you, the only answer that you can give is yes, that's not a question, it's a command, right? Like healthy people don't create perfect relationships, right? They leave really ones that are really bad sooner. Like you get better and better, you leave earlier and earlier. Maybe something took you 10 years to leave. Now this year it's three years. I don't know, right? But you want to ask yourself some really important questions. Like, when you're saying people say to me, why do I keep ending up in the same relationship? Ask yourself now, ask yourself what version of me, what is the version of me that keeps choosing this same relationship? How can I reparent that version of me and help her to learn? How can I set the standards that will help her not do that anymore? Right. And who do I need to become? Who do I want to be? And who would that be that would match the person that I do believe I would be happy with? You know, like when your identity changes, your standards change, right? Your boundaries, you know, shift, you know, what's okay with you and what's not, your tolerance is completely like people very often like will come in here and they'll their tolerance is like this big, their pain threshold. I don't know if you can see my whole arms, but then like our job is to help them to make their pain tolerance smaller, not like, you know, edgy and you know, easily offended, but you know, it you notice quick more quickly when something's not working, right? It's not because like suddenly the world is like now, all of a sudden, like people show up who are a little different. They have a little more class, maybe they they they match, you know, your level of emotional intelligence, and you start noticing these things. Not like the world suddenly changed, that oh, suddenly there's new men out there or new women out there. No, you're different. Everything we're doing, it's our movie. We're creating it. We're, I believe, as a co-creator with God, that being also making the changes within, being in a surrendered state to what is God's will or the purpose for my life, and also identifying what I believe that is, is a real like uh sweet spot. You don't have to become someone else, okay? Just can you remember that? It's not becoming someone else, it's becoming the real you. We come into this world and then we are immediately programmed by the environment we we're uh we're steeping in, you know, and it really makes a difference when we make we say, okay, uh this is another quote. I love, love, love. I say it all the time. It's like the illiterate of the 21st century are not those who can who cannot read or write. It's those who cannot learn, unlearn, and learn again. We have all been programmed. We have all learned a bunch of stuff, we've all interpreted a bunch of stuff, created meaning about a bunch of stuff between zero and seven years old and beyond. And then we operate with that pattern, running our life, that program, running our life consistently over and over again. It's like having something set in your navigation that is always gonna take you to Mississippi because the navigation setting is wrong. Okay. So we just need to set reset our navigation system, right? I don't want you to think about like your last relationship today or anything like that. Think about your identity or, you know, like, or get all caught up in like, oh my God, I got to change this. Honestly, the surest way, some people, you know, come to me. I remember even feeling this at different times. Like, how do I get out of this relationship? You know? And the real thing that really is is all you got to do is shift in your own identity. It's incredible. So here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself. I believe love is. Just close your eyes and just think about it. I believe love is. I believe that I have to blank to be loved. What do you feel like you need to do, not do, whatever it is to be in order to be loved? So then the next question is the healthiest version of me. Think of it, just stop and breathe. The healthiest version of me would never again be blank. So don't judge your answers. Don't you like, don't just just be aware of them. Just accept them. It's no judgment. Awake and aware in the now without judgment. You know, being aware is always it's amazing. It's the first step. And then practicing is what gets you, you know, you want to decide where you're going and then do every little incremental decision, have that aligned with that new identity. One of the things like I'll do is like, if I'm about to do something or make a decision and I'm not sure what, I'll say, with the highest version of me, and I actually um have had like a supernatural experience where I actually, at a Dr. Joe Dispenza event, uh, a week-long advance resheet, I in a walking medit meditation, I had the incredible experience of meeting um like my highest self, like my future self. It was just so magical. It was such an incredible. And that has been such a lovely um standard for me because I remember, I remember her, like remembering the future, right? And she I will run my situations through that lens. Like, which what would she do? And it, you know, I have the blessing of having that experience, a visual, an emotional, spiritual experience. But like you can just imagine, think about who would he or she be, right? Your highest self, and then say, would my highest self, that version of me, say yes to this? Would they, would they continue in this? How would they, how would they resolve this conflict? How would they talk about it? What would they do now? And I noticed one thing about her that I just loved, my future self, is that she was just so she was very happy, but very grounded. And what I took from that, one of the many things I took is that when we are solid, confident, grounded within our own internal world, our outside can be very soft. There's no fighting necessary, there's no big hoopla. Because when you have you and you can trust you, and you, I mean, I've God too. I believe in God, like you have that grounded strength inside. You don't have to put up a wall on the outside as a boundary because you're already sure that you're gonna take care of yourself. So, and remember, it is my job to take care of myself in my relationships. It's not someone else's job. So you're like, oh, he keeps doing that to me, or she keeps doing this, and I don't know, like I just then do that. No, that's up to you whether that person keeps doing that to you or not. Like, really, we're responsible for the three feet around us. Every thought, feeling, action, behavior, every decision belongs to us. It's not because he or because she or because that or that's just child talk. It's not real, it's a way of staying unhappy, it's a way of being in conflictual relationships, thinking negative negatively and not getting where you want to get in life. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. And I'll see you the next time. Love you. Bye.